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Musicals, slavery, and heterosexuality... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 6/30/2002
File Under: Movies & TV

So I was at work today and almost snagged a copy of Moulin Rouge. (Working at library = easy access to free DVDs.) But before checking it out, I decided to ask around to find out if it was actually any good, or if it would just waste two hours of my time. I asked one of the girls I was working with, Megan, if it was good, and she proceeded to nod quite enthusiastically, but then quickly added "But I don't know if you'd like it, being a heterosexual male..." This did not bode well. So I turn to my supervisor, Mike, and say "Mike, from a guy's perspective, is this movie any good?" and I hear this in return: "Oh, I refuse to watch it." Ummm... okay, why? "Because it's a musical." Yeah. Well, much to the behest of the girls around me, I opted for the Roots DVD set instead. I received flak for this. Why? I don't know.

I was almost convinced to get Moulin Rouge anyway, especially since I figured if I felt my masculinity shrivel up and die, I could always turn the movie off and go download some porn or something to feel like a man again. One of the girls (Karyn) suggested I just turn off the sound and masturbate to Nicole Kidman. I don't think that'll be an option.

Anyhow, I'll leave this decision up to any hetero male secure in his sexuality that may be reading this. Is watching Moulin Rouge worth the risk of diminished masculinity? (And that's not exactly something I can afford to risk...) Could I possibly (OH MY GOD!?) ENJOY it? Or should I just whack off to Nicole Kidman? ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

That Xbox thing taking up space under my bed Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 6/29/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox

Somebody recommend me a really fucking good Xbox game. My system has been packed up and under my bed for the last several months, and I'm feeling kinda guilty about it. See, my mom gave it to me as a Christmas gift and spent a lot of money on it... When I told her that I packed it up, she just shook her head said maybe I should get a new game for it. The only one I have is Project Gotham Racing, and I want to give the system another chance. JUST DON'T TELL ME TO GET HALO! (And don't tell me to get Halo because you think it'd be witty since I told you not to. That would make you an idiot.) I've played the game, it's not that great.

[RANT]I don't understand why everyone has their lips firmly planted on its asshole, but whatever. You want a first person shooter with a good plot? Go play Deus Ex instead. If Bungie hadn't hacked their original intent for Halo to pieces to make sure it'd be out for the Xbox release, it might have turned out to be a totally awesome game. As it is, I found it to be an utterly average shooter.[/RANT]

Anyway, I've had my eye on Morrowind and Rallisport Challenge. The problem is, I don't trust reviews anymore (well, other than my own, of course) and Xbox fanboys are the last people to ask for a valid opinion. I don't want to buy a game, play it for a few hours, and forget about it. That happens to me all the time now - especially with games that are higly reviewed. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, METAL GEAR SOLID 2! Oh yeah, and YOU TOO, ROGUE LEADER!) Oh, and I hated the original Jet Set Radio on the Dreamcast, so unless they got rid of those fucking cops that run around saying "HUT HUT HUT!" I'm not interested in Jet Set Radio Future.

What I WOULD like is a fun, easy to get into racing game, or a quality non-tedious adventure game. Oddworld, maybe? I dunno, give me suggestions. I don't know what games are out, and I'm too lazy to find out and go research each one on my own.

Ooga Booga baby! The Dreamcast lives... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 6/29/2002
File Under: Games

I played my Dreamcast for the first time in months today. What was the occasion? Nothing, really... Just sheer boredom. See, I've had this ISO of Ooga Booga on my harddrive for ages (since before the game was even released in stores, if I remember correctly) but never burned it because A) I've had plenty of other games to play, and B) (the main reason) I never had any CDRs to burn it to.

Anyway, I picked up a spindle of CDRs the other day to burn some music and decided I might as well finally burn this game, too. I haven't had a chance to play it online yet (since I keep getting error messages when I try to log on... WTF?) but for the little that I've messed around with it in single player, I'm glad I didn't actually pay for it. I can't understand why the hell this game was in development for so long, either. It has to be one of the most simplistic games I've ever played.

Essentially, the game is just a third person deathmatch. You pick one of several "Kahunas" that have varying abilities like Power, Speed, and "Ability to carry lots of shrunken heads," for lack of a better term. These guys have names like "Twitchy," "Hottie," "Fatty," and "Hoodoo." The gameplay consists of you just running around a small island mashing buttons and trying to hit your opponents. You can pick up shrunken heads to bean them with, mash them with a normal swat attack, or hop on a boar and ride around ramming into people.

I found the attack controls to be a bit sluggish, and the camera is pretty annoying as well. So far as I can tell, there's no way to control it independently, meaning you have to run around randomly hoping the camera will point in the direction you want. This isn't such a problem when you zoom out, but still... The islands are so small, it shouldn't be this hard to find people to hit! Granted, this isn't really a problem when there are four kahunas going at it, but in a two player match, I found myself occasionally circling the island a couple times before even spotting the enemy.

Anyway, I'm sure this game is a lot more fun online with actual human opponents, but I wouldn't know, because the damn game always tells me there's a login error when I KNOW the login info is right (it works with the browser just fine)! I've also barely opened much of the single player mode at all. It seems like extra features are added to the battle with each new match. Maybe after a few more matches, there will be some more gameplay variety. I just didn't find it particularly entertaining - I can see lots of potential if I stick with it, though.

Initial Vibe: Neutral. If I could actually access the online features, I might be a little more enthusiastic. Unfortunately, that seems to be out of my hands.

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